Bullying, other social issues are rooted in families.

A child-adolescent psychiatrist for over 14 years in the UK and UAE said

parents have to take a closer look at and examine themselves and their families

very well first before passing the buck for any dysfunctionality, trouble or

any problem their children get them into.

“I am yet to see someone from a healthy functional family with supportive

parents who became a bully,” Dr Saqib Latif said.

He added that families and parents must take the conscious effort of knowing

their children’s friends. He said, “I see children who only bully, because they

are part of a group [of bullies] who make them feel alienated if they do not do

the same despite abhorring the vice.”

On his take, regarding the misuse and proper use of the Internet, the owner of

the American Centre (Psychiatry & Neurology) in Abu Dhabi, said: “It is the

responsibility of adults to ensure that the content and time duration of the

use of electronic devices is closely monitored. Adults should ensure that such

devices are only used for the best purposes.”

To further drive his point home, Latif, who is also affiliated with the

American Centre (Psychiatry & Neurology) in Dubai, added that parents have to

take it upon themselves to be responsible role models for their children.

He said, “It goes without saying that the most effective way to teach our

children how to use technology within limits is by modelling to them through

our own behaviour and trying to limit its use within homes to encourage more

family time.”

Latif had earlier mentioned to The Gulf Today that the reason for becoming a

child-adolescent psychiatrist is that through the years of his exposure in

hospitals, he realised that physical health is only “one dimension of someone’s

suffering” and that in-depth consultations constantly yield to the reality that

illnesses “stem out of more complex psychological and social issues.”

He added: “Working in general psychiatry taught me how important the early

years are, when the personality is developing and positive interventions at

that early stage are the only way to prevent later adverse health outcomes and

to raise a healthy generation for a brighter future.”

According to his observational data, the top five reasons why children

eventually become bullies are family or parental issues; personal factors,

namely poor insight or awareness of actions, lack of empathy, superiority

complex and big ego, among others; belongingness; prejudice; and adverse

childhood experiences such as neglect, abuse and trauma.

“Bullied children are at increased risk of becoming bullies themselves,” said

Latif.

On the anatomy of bullying, he said: “The vast majority of bullies do not feel

listened to or understood by their family, particularly their parents. They do

not often spend time with their parents and the only way to have the control is

by showing off their power in this dysfunctional way.”

On the personal factors that also include the bullies’ perception that they

will not be blameworthy anyway, Latif said this is rooted in the parents’ or

families’ inability and irresponsibility in implementing “rules and boundaries”

on their children, their absence, and the over-compensation of giving the

children a free hand because they are neglectful as parents.

On the issue of prejudice, Latif strongly believes that families and

specifically parents in close collaboration with the school administration

would be able to tweak this by setting the change of mindset among the youth

and demonstrating to them the essence of equality, respect, responsibility and

trust.

Dr. Saqib Latif,

Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist, ACPN

(Gulf Today, May 4, 2018)